Friday, September 8, 2006

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the supreme interests of the child

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Greatest German Wwii War Hero

TRY & How to Grow a Relationship With Your Child Warm

by John Murtari - www.AKidsRight.Org/warm.htm

This article is about how to TRY and have a warm relationship with your children when there is a Court order limiting your time, not about how to raise a polite child, a disciplined child, an independent child, or a Rhodes Scholar. Personally, I feel if you TRY to achieve the warm relationship, everything else will follow. I hope it does not have a lot of "psycho babble" and I certainly have no degree in Child Psychology (not that I think one is necessary for this). It is just some candid observations and personal experience I would like to share with you. Please don't take it as gospel and use a little common sense. Like a lot of things in life, it depends on the "big three." Love, Faith, and Personal Sacrifice.

I'm also humbled as I write this, I am NOT God's gift to parenting! Many of you are great parents, have close relationships with your kids, and don't do ANY of what I might propose here -- that is great. But I have some personal pride in the close relationship Domenic and I have been able to maintain through a divorce which started when he was 3. That saw me put in the role of minority (every other weekend) parent, and with a former spouse and "system" that wanted to keep us apart. He is now 9 ("relocated" to the other side of the country at age 6) and the bond has grown stronger. I'd like to share that experience.

HOW TO TRY - Let's make one thing really clear, all you can do is "TRY." There is no guarantee of success and please don't feel worse about yourself if things don't work. Many, many of us are simply in no-win situations now and you just can't press a rewind button and try over. For me, I just happened to be in a good personal situation with my child when the divorce disaster happened. I didn't think so at the time, but I was fortunate to have been "fired" from a high-paying job about a year prior. It gave me the impetus to pursue more family friendly work and be home a lot with our new child (which I loved). Many, many of you didn't have that kind of option. Compared to what many of you have been through, I have been very, very lucky. I have also been blessed to have been able to keep myself in a work situation which gives me the flexibility to be with my son during "our time." My career decisions cost me 6 months in jail a while back (and maybe more in the future), but I have no regrets. Many of you don't have that flexibility, and that is unfortunate -- when you miss time with your child, you miss time. There is no "making it up" in the future. It is gone.

Many of you will never be able to recover the warmth or were just thrown into very difficult situations where it requires a "superman/mom" to succeed-- that is the real horror of this Family Law system of ours. But if you have Faith, I think many of us know we have a "duty" to TRY, and to keep TRYING. You can't control your child's feelings about you, and we all know the system is "out of control" -- but you can TRY to do YOUR best. As Gandhi would say, don't get caught up with the results, just take care of what you can do. You have the satisfaction of knowing you did all you could. Even if you can't improve things for yourself, you certainly have the power to help keep it from happening to others. You can be a real HERO.

WHAT IT MEANS TO TRY - For two years after Dom moved out West I couldn't never talk to him on the phone, I either got the answering machine right away or was told he "wouldn't come to the phone." I used to write him a letter every week, I only got about one in reply. My mother used to ask me, "Johnny, how do you know he is even hearing your message, or that she is just not tearing up the letters..." The answer was simple, "I can't control what she does. I just have to try as best I can to do the right thing."

I love NFL football. During playoff Sundays, when Domenic was with me, it was tough watching Winnie the Pooh videos on Sunday afternoon! Not that I didn't TRY to get him interested, but he was just too small -- so Pooh it was!

HIS OWN PERSONALITY HAS A LOT TO DO WITH IT - He's an independent minded little kid. I will share one incident that happened early on. I used to visit him for lunch at daycare (that was after the Judge said it was better to be in day care than with me during the day). We used to eat together there until finally my former spouse got another order stopping me entirely from visiting daycare (it seems I was interfering with him socializing with the other children -- imagine that!). Well, when I stopped coming, Dom stopped eating lunch, proclaiming that he "wanted daddy." Of course, no one bothered to tell me this was going on at the time, and he refused to eat for many months (it only came up later during testimony at a court proceeding). It was quite a surprise for me to hear what the "little guy" had done and it brought tears to my eyes.

Like I said before, I was lucky. A more passive child would have been entirely different (maybe one like yours). I'm lucky, but I still TRY. It's a funny thing about life, if you TRY really hard, sometimes you get lucky.

MY CHILDHOOD - Much of what is here comes from my own experience. My father, Domenico, didn't get married till he was 62, my mother, Caterina, was 40 -- when I was born he was 64. Imagine that! They were both Italian immigrants, both pretty uneducated, but how-do-you-say . with a lot of common sense. He always wanted a family. I was not an "accident", or just another part of their lives -- I was their lives! When I was born you can imagine the joy. He always had time for me -- heck, he was collecting social security!

Never say "too busy" or "don't interrupt" or "later" - My entire childhood I can never remember thinking I was not loved by both of them. When I went to my mom or dad, they were never busy. When I talked to him, he never told me I was interrupting. When I wanted to cuddle in his lap, he always had time. When I would crawl all over him and mess up his clothes and knock off his glasses, he never said NO! Maybe, "Johnny, take it easy," but never NO! I simply do not remember a single incident of him telling me to wait till later, or that he was too busy.

When my parents had me there was no such thing as an "adults only reception." My father used to tell his nieces and nephews, "You want me to come to your wedding, I'm bringing Johnny."

I work at a small business, there are not enough hours in the day to do all that needs to be done. But you know what, when it was my weekend, month, or minute with Domenic, all that could wait. I was with him. I try to catch up after he is asleep at night and before he wakes up in the morning (and I do check in during the day). But he is #1. Has it cost me money - you bet! Will my retirement probably be a lot less - probably! Has it cost the business money - you bet! Has it cost Domenic some money in his college fund - probably! Will he have to settle for a cheaper college - maybe! Has "making money" come between my child and I in any way - No! A friend of mine once told me that if I sacrificed time now to make more money -- I would be able to take Dom to Disney on vacation in the future. Really have some "quality time" -- I just laughed.

DON'T TALK/PREACH TOO MUCH - My parents wanted me to do good in school. They always watched my report card. But we did not have any parent-child "talks" until I was in College. There was only one, and I remember it vividly. I was home on break, my folks were watching TV, it might have been "Bonanza." I was sitting in the kitchen doing some homework. My father walked in and said, "Johnny, make sure you remember to help poor people. A lotta people need help, don't forget." Then he walked away again -- end of talk. Wow, twenty years later I still remember the whole conversation!

I was never directed to say please/thank you as a formula. While we had a lot of religious things in the house -- we never said grace before meals, we never talked about faith. My folks didn't tell me what they believed, and they never asked me what I believed. We did not have a car until I got my license. My dad and I always walked to church. How I used to pray for rain/snow. He never got into philosophical discussions with me, the rule was simple -- he was going, I was going. I saw he rarely missed church. It was important to him.

DON'T EVER SAY "DON'T INTERRUPT" - How many times do you have to hear this before you stop talking to someone? Or perhaps think, I'll try again later -- but then later never comes. If I am talking to an "adult" and Dom comes over I tell the "adult", excuse me, I need to talk to my son. Then I focus on Dom, right then, and listen to whatever he has to say for as long as it takes. I never want Dom to think for a moment that I might put him off. Have I disturbed any adults, maybe, but they are old enough to understand.

DON'T OVERWHELM - Let's face it, for now you can always beat your kid in any battle of "wits." You can win every argument about who to date, what college to go to, and what classes to take -- don't even go there. How would you like to live with a "Dr. Laura". Nothing will poison your relationship more that predicting failure for them, criticism from those we love cuts the deepest. Many of you still remember times when parents or close friends predicted you would fail at something or weren't good enough (how many times did you thank them for it?) I was so fortunate neither of my parents completed high school. If I had gotten a job as a manual laborer in town, they would have been ecstatic! I never was trying to live up to someone else's expectations, they never "pushed" me toward college and in no way did they have the money. (I ended up being a "cum laude" graduate of the Air Force Academy, which I did because it was important to ME).

Actually, as I am writing this I realize something: they controlled my body, but they never tried to control my mind -- especially my dad. Wow, doesn't that sound like a new psychological concept! I learned the real important concepts in life not by being told, but by watching their example. It may take a little longer, but it goes clean to the bone. Don't kid yourself -- if you don't have time to show your kid by example, don't waist your time talking, heck, just give them a Morality VCR tape -- it will probably do the same amount of good -- and a lot less damage to your personal relationship with your child. Better yet, make sure your public school has lots of "signs" up in the classroom like "Use your words, not your fists." (a lot of good that has done. The posters and slogans certainly worked in the 'former' Soviet Union).

I had a lot of responsibility as a child. I can remember as a 4th grader, riding my bike to the grocery store. Like I said earlier, we didn't have a car ... so if we needed some eggs, or a quart of milk -- I went. It was important. What I did was important.

LEARN FROM THE ANIMALS - Seen many of those nature show lately? I have watched a ton with Domenic, and you know -- human beings are animals too. Imagine that! Speech should be considered a fairly recent development which has complicated child rearing tremendously! Think about this, a new concept of communication in the animal kingdom well beyond, grunts, moans, and songs -- the ability to use finely modulated sound waves to exert detailed control over others! Want to give your child a natural upbringing -- then watch Wild Kingdom. How do all those little animals learn -- by watching mom & dad. Have you ever seen a lioness have to force one of its cubs to eat -- of course not. What comes more natural to a hungry animal than eating. You ever see a lion that didn't know how to act like a lion -- I don't think so.

How many parents have real trouble with getting their kids to eat. Do you know how screwed up you have to be to get your child to a state where they don't eat-- pretty bad! But at least you have a lot of company. Have you thought about:

When the pride eats, the cubs eat. Food isn't falling out of the sky. Yeah, maybe monkeys eat a little all the time, but if you want to have a family meal -- then wait with the snacks.

You ever see a baby lion get corrected for bad posture, or messy eating, or not cleaning their plate every time -- not likely! While your child wants to be independent, they also need to learn from you. Don't over control mealtime, let the kid eat any way he wants to. Don't turn it into a contest of wills. Just set a good example and have a healthy food selection available. Your child will learn to eat neatly, and all the rest -- remember, they want to be just like you -- unless you force them and conflict with their independence. I have a cousin I love dearly, she always complains that her kids don't eat enough fruits & vegetables - of course, I never see her eat those either!

Like my mama used to say, "when your hungry, everything tastes good." At meals we drink milk. Outside of that, if you are thirsty, you have a cup of the natural drink -- cold, cool, clear, refreshing water. Millions of animals swear by it! No sugar water in any of its forms: soft drinks, juice, etc. Did my parents plan this for me. No. We just didn't have the money for a lot of soft drinks in the house. Those were for special events, going to the park. I can still remember that with my folks, when we went out I always wanted "orange." What a treat!

Wait a minute, what has all this got to do with the warm relationship? A lot! We are trying to reduce the number of battlefields with your child. I always feel uncomfortable visiting family and watching the whole meal go by with them talking to the kids about, how they are eating, what they are eating, and how much they are eating. Language is really a mixed blessing -- try to do everything by example.

PHYSICAL DISCIPLINE - This is one which drives people nuts! My parents were old school, my mother was the disciplinarian and she used the "strap" -- man did that hurt! I can still remember her chasing me around the table -- I was a hyper active little kid (too bad I didn't have the benefits of modern drugs!). Only once in my entire childhood did my father spank me, just once, because we had broken a street light and the police came to the house (back then they didn't charge you with a crime). Have I ever had to spank Dom, no. Would I spank him in preference to grounding him for a week, in a heartbeat.

What I remember about punishment is that it was swift, and then over. Having "good things" was never predicated on how I behaved. They were neither withheld or rewarded. We were right back to being family. I've had cousins over with a child who was in the middle of being "grounded", the animosity between them and the bickering ruined part of the day. I'm sure it ruined their entire week, and even more, festered an anger between them -- yuck! Talk about playing a "power game."

I only tried the "denial" thing once. Dom mouthed off to me while we were visiting relatives. I told him we would not play "spiders" in the car on the way back. It was a quiet ride, I hated it. It interfered in our relationship.

THE "NO" WORD - You just won't hear it with me and Dom, it is VERY rare. I discipline myself to only use it when I really mean it AND I am ready to enforce what I say. I only say it once, if the behavior doesn't stop, I jump physically into the situation to bring it under control. When we are approaching that level I will use words like "take it easy" or "be careful" -- he knows what is coming next. I let his desire for "independence" teach him self discipline, he doesn't want me to jump in.

I can't help but mention an old dog I used to have, a real "alpha male." He used to hate bath time and just didn't want to go, I used to have to pick him up and carry him, but eventually he amazed me by doing it by himself. He would slowly walk to the bathtub when I would say "bath time" and jump in -- he knew there was no alternative, and it saved his dignity. Within the rules he kept control, self-discipline.

THE COMFORT OF ROUTINE - Especially when Dom was a toddler, there was always a routine when we were together. He would show up at 5pm, we would play some silly game outside for a while, then go inside and get dinner ready together. After dinner it was wash the dishes and then go watch a little tv or a video till 7:30 (I like to eat fresh fruit when watching TV, strangely enough, Dom picked up the same habit!). Then it was bath time. Then read a book, and bedtime. He had control over the routine, if he didn't want to watch "Pooh" for the hundredth time, that was fine with me! I knew he was being bounced around a lot because mom had a busy schedule. The routine was probably one of the most invaluable and simple things I did for him.

We had our "standard" jokes and goofy games we would play, things which would make him laugh. It would become invaluable when he was "relocated" and there could be months between visits. Even if words were "awkward", we knew the routine and the games. Within minutes we were back to "old times."

LEARN TO PLAY - Boy is this a big one. When is the last time you played with your child, not only your 3 year old, but your 12 year old or teenager for a solid hour. I say probably never. Imagine that! This is probably the single most important thing to creating a warm relationship (and helping you to enjoy your child) -- and we miss the opportunity. Here are some thoughts defining playtime:

No distinction between parent/child. You do not break into the parent routine by saying such key phrases as: "don't do that", "be careful", "NO" and "don't get dirty". Let your child take the lead in deciding what you are going to do, and how long you are going to do it, and what the rules are. Try to avoid the temptation to teach them how to "play properly" -- imagine that! No interruptions. Perhaps an example would help to explain. While you may be able to play inside. It is a bit tricky depending on how rowdy your child is. Domenic and I always had a lot of woods near the home. From the time he was old enough to walk we would spend time in the woods. Just doing very simple stuff: exploring, throwing rocks, finding blackberries, collecting leaves. We would usually be out for at least an hour or two every day. It wasn't work, just relaxing. It's hard to get in trouble in a field.

I have to tell a story about us playing inside. We play an imaginary came called "spiders" with our hands and voices that started when he was little, and has advanced to today. Dom has an HO Train in our play room and I'm the one who always wants to use the train, but he does not. Sometimes if I really plead he will run the train a little bit for me. At times I want to break into the parent role, or even worse, break into the child role and walk out, but I let it go. I think of all the things he would like to do, and can't -- so I guess the train is his great "equalizer." The little stinker!

I don't know about you, but I remember playing with other kids with no parents around and we managed just fine. The big kids had the toys, the little kids just waited. The big kids also learned what power was about, and also generosity. In my old neighborhood I loved to play with Dom and the other kids. For a very SHORT while, when there was a dispute (especially the every popular 'I want a toy that so-and-so has'), they would come to me for resolution. I would just throw my hands in the air and say, what do you want me to do? When they are tired of it you can have it, or maybe they will want to give it to you sooner just to be nice. Once that was settled we could get back to just goofing around, they learned to leave me alone.

I used to get exhausted watching some of the parents enforcing the "sharing" concept. Some would even keep a watch so that everyone got 5 minutes. I had always thought that sharing with others was a voluntary concept, not a right?

BEYOND EMBARRASSMENT - I remember once on a Saturday afternoon while we were playing in a neighborhood sand lot, one of the respectable parents was so flabbergasted they asked me to "stop acting like a kid." I just told them I was playing and having a good time myself... is there something wrong with that? I didn't hear any more about it.

BE JUST A SAFETY OBSERVER - Play teaches a lot of thing, especially self confidence. I took a lesson from when I used to be an Air Force Instructor Pilot. On the ground I used to talk & talk & talk to the student, giving them every bit of knowledge and experience I had, but once we stepped into the cockpit, I was silent and passive. A pilot has to be confidant -- it is something you can't "teach." They were the 'pilot', the decisions were to be made by them. I was just the safety observer, stepping in when before we could be injured. Probably one of the biggest obstacles in primary jet training was learning to land, if you couldn't land, you couldn't fly solo, if you couldn't fly solo, you were out of the program. Some instructors would "guard the stick", placing their hands right around the flight controls, not me -- by their second flight I would tell them they were going to do the landing. I would put my hands up on the dashboard as we came down final approach and proudly announce ("you land this thing or we're crashing"). To a man, they all did it, but what they didn't know is my hands on the dash wasn't much different than being next to the stick. In a split second I could have been in control..

When Dom was little, if he was getting near the edge of a deep pond I would slowly move in to closer proximity, but I wouldn't say anything to him. Safety observer. If the worst that was going to happen was fall and skin his knee, get a little wet -- I didn't care. He'll survive and be the wiser for it.

If when he's 17 he tells me, "Dad, I don't think I'm going to college. I just want to live life for a while." What am I going to say, "Well, that's great to hear." Now, if he asks me for my opinion, I'll give it to him - but if not, I'll just put a "zipper on it." If a few years later he comes back home broke. "Dad, can I live with you for a while, I can't even afford rent." What can I say but, "Come in, you are welcome for as long as you want."

PHYSICAL CLOSENESS - I still remember climbing all over my Dad while he would watch TV from his chair. I would let Dom crawl and slobber all over me. Sometimes he could really twist my ear and I would just say "ouch" to let him know it hurt, but never NO. Even in my good clothes, if he wanted to be picked up -- up it was! The most shocking thing I ever heard came from another parent (I still remember this years later). Her little toddler walked up, held hands in the air and said "up." The response was, "why, what do you want?" He didn't have an answer. She would later explain she was teaching her child to be independent -- imagine that!

WORKING ON THINGS TOGETHER - I sometimes marvel when people tell me, "I couldn't get any housework done, I was watching the kids." This is one I DID NOT learn from my Mom. She had absolutely zero patience with me helping out. I can still remember trying to help her make cookies or a cake and being chased out of the kitchen! As Dom has grown he has always had the option to "join in the fun." I used to always wash our linoleum floors when he was with me, he was just a toddler. I had the mop and I gave him the car squeegee to dip in the bucket. He made a mess, but over time got better. I RESISTED the urge to over correct and just let him do his thing - which usually meant twice as much work for me.

I like to cook and we used to make fried chicken and pizza (from scratch) together. Mixing dough is always fun! I succeeded in doing more with him because "that was the day." I left us a lot of time and wasn't too picky about the results. It changed the whole "gestalt" of housework and cooking. Dom always knew he was welcome to join in, but he didn't have to. Even when doing work I was "present" to him and he knew he could always join in.

When he was just 6 or 7 we "pointed" the stones with mortar down in my mother's basement. Slinging mortar with a trowel, that's a job that sells itself to any kid! Putting black top sealer on the driveway, another great messy job. I'm a perfectionist at times, but with Dom I made a point of letting it go. If he did something I avoided "doing it over" so he knew that was his work.

I can't wait to show him the great joy achieved in "mowing the lawn!"

DON'T FORCE THEM 'AWAY' - When it is your time together and your child wants to be with you. Don't make them go to some other activity if they don't want to. This type of conflict happens in so many little ways. Dom always wanted to sit next to me (or in my lap) at the table, especially when visiting family. I let him stay with me even if the "kids" had another table. When visiting, he often did not want to "go out and play." I made no big deal of him just staying with me (and usually he would get bored and then go out and play).

Even at church, most of the small kids would go to "Sunday School" during the service. Dom didn't want to go and I let him sit with me (more on that below).

YOUR FORMER SPOUSE - Don't make your child pass messages between you. Don't use them to "spy" on what is going on in their other home. Don't criticize their other parent. Don't ever ask them to choose between you. You see, these are easy and there aren't any exceptions. Don't make your child feel uncomfortable about the other parent. Don't diminish the worth of the other parent.

Yes, I tell Dom I wish I could be with him much, much more. When he asks why I can't, I tell him because mommy doesn't want you to. When he asks why, I tell him I really don't know (and I don't), but sometimes when people don't love each other any more, these kinds of things happen.

What I do a LOT is talk about the good times we had together with him. If we see a wedding, I will describe our wedding to him. When we visit friends, I tell them of prior visits mom & dad made to them. I bring up the funny incidents from the past That mom & dad had.

John Murtari
jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org

Side Affects From Equal And Sweet N Low

Paediatricians "Kids want a mom and a dad"

Children are more traditional adult education, perhaps it was unnecessary trouble for pediatricians to know that our children are welcome Mom and Dad "regular." In short, it seems that children accustomed to video games and now mobile phones are much less "modern" with regard to the family: a thousand miles away by the siren song of a changing society, in fact, continue to prefer the altar for Mom and Dad.

The pediatrician says Italo Farnetani University University of Milan, which explains how children and adolescents prefer marriage, civil or religious, to partnerships and so-called civil unions, civil solidarity pacts that have returned to share the center, following the statements of Senator Paola Binetti of Margherita, the Cl meeting in Rimini.

And children, no doubt, are above all suspicion: "This is obviously not a policy choice - specifies the expert - but a question of safety and need, from children and teenager, approval by the majority. As long as the children of married couples will continue to be more numerous offspring of the partners, in fact, they continue to warn the brand of diversity, noticeable from the age of four years. "

Children, therefore, do not like extended families, unmarried parents, and, least of all same-sex parents and continue to believe, rightly, we dare say that it is better to have mom and dad who said they were "yes." "That's because - says the pediatrician - children and adolescents are seeking safety, who understand that marriage offers some extra guarantee".

course, if the alternative to coexistence is separation, "of course opt for the union of small mom and dad, married or living together are ". A concession, as the lesser of evils, for possible partnerships and civil unions, if they ever reach you, but emphatic no, without any provision for possible adoption of children by homosexual couples.

"85% of pediatricians - Farnetani says recalling the survey data presented at the 28th European Congress of Pediatrics, in Madonna di Campiglio - is in fact contrary to this possibility. for growth and develop properly, children need a male and a female model, readily apparent. The alteration of the reference models within the family - the pediatrician continues - because of disharmony in child development, a source of dangerous confusion. "

A thesis that does not appear to most as a great discovery, and that reassures all those who are "family" in the traditional sense of the word.

But even in a traditional family, said the pediatrician, "should be avoided the confusion of roles. The woman has the right to work, carried out professionally, while the man should help around the house. But the father must not become 'mum', and vice versa. "

children, according to the pediatrician, have a clear idea on the head of the family and the roles of its protagonists: "If we were to use a metaphor - he concludes - we say that the father has the role of the Minister of Foreign Affairs, which must ensure that the family interact, collaborate and defended from the outside.

To her mother it would in fact that of the Minister of the Interior, shall ensure that the peace within the home. "

short, Italian children have clear ideas. Adults, perhaps a little 'less, as evidenced by the swell of controversy, right and left, n following the intervention of Senator Paola Binetti Margherita di Rimini on the stage, where the meeting is being Cl. The law on civil unions returned to divide the Union, with which Binetti, by Catholic, exclusive of any intervention on the matter, and the public, however, the whistles, shouting "Sold" and "Judas."

Maybe they should all just watch the children.
The alteration of the reference models within the family, because of disharmony in the development and becomes a dangerous source of confusion

Heatran Info To Carch Indigio

War of the Roses on the skin of children considered

CHRONICLES

AFTER THE MURDER OF PERUGIA, "but mothers USING THE psychological violence "

" Beatings and threats: from 20 crimes per day separated fathers'

23/8/2006 LDI



ROME. Twenty crimes per day, over seven thousand a year, a few murders but many episodes of violence and threats committed by fathers often separated for revenge against the ex-wives. A problem that news reports have sadly reported the spotlight.

Maria Burani Procaccini (Forza Italy), the outgoing president of the Parliamentary Committee for Children, rattles off the data collected through survey of the Ministry of the Interior. These are "crimes of desperation," clarifies the Burani, "to whom we must look to understand the plight of hundreds of thousands people, one in which magma then hide the follies such as the latent consumatasi unfortunately yesterday in Perugia. "

A theme which also involves the shared custody law approved during the government's center-right and he works on the Secretary of Family Minister Rosy Bindi, Chiara Locks. The law should not be deleted but it has some defects, supports Locks announcing that the government will seek to amend it with the help of the opposition.

Men are no more guilty of women, the reaction to be different, defends Ernesto Emanuele, president of the separated dad. "Often, fathers or parents who did not get custody easily - says - lose their heads, men resort to physical violence, while women mostly psychological violence. " The survey, which does not include the crimes of non-payment of the monthly to wife and children is also understood that one must experience the new law in fact shared custody "to see if it really will ensure both parents," says Burani. And above all, makes it essential to monitor the behavior of both parents.

"I do not want to criminalize anyone, it is good to have an assessment and that the child is considered a rights holder." If the fault is not all attributable to the fathers, it is also true that 87 percent of men asks the award "showing less interest in the fate of their children." For fathers, therefore, "we must understand the value of fatherhood. The child is seen as a tool to hurt his wife. Man builds a partner and forget the needs of the child. "

But the mothers, against ex-husbands, often use the weapon of accusation as slanderous to libidinous acts against children to keep their children, for its part warned that Emanuel also noted that complaints of men against their ex-wives are stored more often than those filed by women. The creation of an authority for the child and the unification of jurisdiction children, sought the exponent of the Secretary Locks Fi replication.

"I agree with the dialogue, is not an issue that divided the Minister Bindi wants to put his hand to family law in general, the institution of the family court." But first of all monitor the law on custody, which has positive aspects, such as giving the center the child's interest, but also many gaps. "We want to understand what is wrong, the law was hastily made and is making not inconsiderable problems of application. We will make proposals and seek dialogue in Parliament. "

That he also recognizes the limits of Emanuel who by his association was shared among those who sponsored, "a big step forward because neither parent has now total possession of the child and so we are both more cautious." On violence against children Locks offers a comprehensive approach that addresses overall violence inside the home. He calls him a "cultural problem" that must be resolved by looking to see what the school can do, how to help mothers victims and accomplices to the violence of the fathers, "acting indirectly through education, especially of women."

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For the truth 'we are frequently reported cases of physical violence made directly to mothers or their new friends that are reported, often without then action is taken, rather than restrictive measures resulting in attendance of their children and against those who 'was a victim of violence. It is not considered proper - indeed defamatory - this generalization of guilt toward their fathers, pointing out the stereotype that they would act in a violent way and to take revenge, using the children. Generalizations are dangerous and defamatory, analogous to the libel that the Jews have suffered prior to the approval of the racial laws. In reality, 'it turns out that the depressions and episodes of anger or despair arise rather from a sense of male impotence in being able to give their children a stable family and provide them with a parental relationship serene and balanced.

Discussion forums on papaseparati

aggression reported in turin and another reported on the forum

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

How To Recover From Anorexia - Christians

Husband 'horned' wife compensated

MILAN - It will cost dear to Maria Teresa M. having sent an anonymous letter to his friend to warn him that he had been betrayed by his wife and therefore could be considered "cuckold." The man had concealed the letter, but the wife discovered her and she felt the victim of defamation. Suspecting who had written it, his wife asked for the sequestration of Typewriter of the sender, and then sued for damages. The Civil Court on the basis of technical advice, the court ordered Maria Teresa M. to pay due to the promoter of the 30 000 euro plus accrued interest on the same amount to € 16,700 and other costs.

Sample Of Welcome Blogs

Johnny Bruscia PASSIGNANO ON TRASIMENO

Passignano sul Trasimeno. He killed, slaughtered with a kitchen knife to attack the woman who left him. Thomas, nine years, only child of a pair of separated parents, he paid the price for the folly of love. His father, Johnny Bruscia, a bodybuilder of 38 years, he first led by his grandfather home to which both have consumed their last meal and then have her home. There, in semi-detached house on the shores of Lake Trasimeno, where up to a year ago, the family Bruschi was still a family unit, is the tragedy.

He led his son in what had been his bedroom and pointed a knife at her throat severing the jugular. He left it, down on the floor, dying. Death from bleeding is coming up later, almost simultaneously with that of his father. After killing her child locked the door and climbed in the car. Porsche has set in motion the gray and headed towards the nearest level crossing with the intention of being overwhelmed by the passing train. He found the barrier closed, abandoned the car and walked on the tracks.

The train arrived around 14: the driver to drive the train from Terontola Foligno and directed if it is found lying on the tracks. While attempting emergency braking, the railroad has not managed to avoid the man, crushed by the train and dragged for about two hundred meters. A murder-suicide that has thrown into dismay the small community of Passignano sul Trasimeno, where Johnny worked Bruscia the launching workshop of his father. The police operation with the Province of Perugia have been ruled out of the accident.

identity of suicide were traced through the license plates. Human body impact with the train had made havoc. Adelio Bruscia, father and grandfather and Johnny Thomas, learned of the death of his son the commander of the police station of Passignano. And 'he was asking the child, his little Thomas. And 'he was to deliver the keys to the investigators of the house where his son Thomas, was lying lifeless, the clothes soaked in blood on the floor of the bedroom of his parents.

's still not find the words to him, even if the words are there. "They came to see me this morning," she said through tears. The hiccups prevent him from finishing the sentence. He shakes his head as if to say no, can not be true. Only repeats the same exclamation obsessive. "How could I have imagined ...». No, Adelio Bruscia could not know. He could not know anyone that Johnny would put an end to his life and that of Thomas. A quiet person, call him acquaintances: a reserved man, apparently without any particular problems, except the painful separation from the partner and the desire for a new history of 'love, to look for, maybe, in a distant country. Someone tells of a mild depression. Recently it was also taking a break 'from work for a health problem is not serious, however, forced him to undergo a surgical interevento. Even during lunch yesterday with his grandparents, not nothing special would happen.

spoken but a futile bickering of Johnny with his mother, with respect to a dish. Looking back now, an unusual behavior for a young Johnny as quiet, still, during that dinner - it is said - as was always affectionate with his son, asking him a kiss.

The discussion forum on papaseparati
A series of related articles on Mom and Dad together

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Diarrhea Than Gas Pains Early Pregnancy

Library papaseparati

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Primary Sector Employment

The report advised members of the UK House of Lords

Published in the international list
EQUAL fr4e FAMILYRIGHTS 4 EUROPE

House of Lords debate on the Child Support Reform
UK House of Lords, 24 July 2006

Analysis of the UK debate in the Senate made by Peter Tromp, Fathercare Knowledge Centre, preceded by a summary evaluation of the positions for each of the eight Lord who discussed July 24, 2006. In a nutshell, only the Conservatives have shown attention and care for the protection of relationships that children have with their father after separation, both to ensure continuity 'and balance, both in combat exclusionary conduct. Labor and Liberal have proved indifferent. Debate reproduced in full.
------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------
First a summary portraid of the 8 Lords-debaters involved in this debate made by Peter Tromp from the perspective of them showing any concern for either promoting father’s involvement with their children through post divorce equal parenting involvement or better enabling access and contact between fathers and their children:

debaters in green show concern with father’s involvement with their children

debaters in red don’t give a damn about father’s inolvement with their children

Debate summary on the party level:

Liberal Democrats: They absolutely don’t give a damn about father’s post-divorce involvement with their children. Liberal Democrats are exclusively and uncritically supportive to lone care parents only, also when these parents are frustrating access and contact between nonresident parents with their children. They have no concern whatsoever for the interests of father’s and children in being more involved with each other after divorce. Conclusion: Liberal Democrats are therefore an absolutely “no vote” for father’s. To put it differently: Any father voting Liberal Democrat is not having it together.

Labour: They don’t give much of a damn about promoting father’s post-divorce involvement with their children within trhe framework of Child Support Reform policies and pay only unconnected vague lipservice to better contact and access issues without having any intention of connecting those issues up with the Child Reform Policies.

Labour is only paying lipservice to the interests of father’s whom they euphemistically call NRP’s (Non Resident Parents) and generally see and address groupwise in a very gender racist way as being irresponsible and prosecutionable criminals (This is for instance what Lady Hollis said of father’s in this debate: “For example, the NRP may well say, “We’ll agree on 20 quid and you can have it. I know I should be paying 40 quid, but if you go for that, I will duck and weave and you won’t get your money”. He may bribe, lie, withhold information and behave like too many self-employed men by concealing his income. I am sure we all want to ensure that the parent with care has sufficient leverage…”)

Labour on one side proves to be mainly concerned with the interests of lone care parents and in giving “parents with care” sufficient leverage the NRP than at present. Labour wants to ensure that the parent with care has sufficient leverage. The only way to do that is to create very tough reïnforcement measures on the side of the care parents vis-avis the nonresident parents is what Labour states. And they indeed create a massive range of unprecedented discretions and reïnforment measures to come down tough on non-resident parents on the issue of child support.

Labour on the other hand denies the “NRP” that same leverage on the access and contact issue against frustrating care parents, that they call so necessary for care parents on the child support issue. Labour comes down so unprecedented tough on only the Non Resident parents that it results in the senior Lord Stoddart of Swindon remarking his deep concern at the end of this debate: “What about the penalties which non-absent parents will apparently receive, for example, curfews, tagging and loss of passports? Those penalties seem worse than those that muggers and old-people bashers often get from our courts. I hope that has been considered.”

Labour is actively promoting an unequal level playing field, i.e. inequality between both parents. The same that they call absolutely necessary for their favorite care parents they deny to their unfavorite nonresident parents: Allthough they try to cover it up and deny it, they in short are very much promoting gender discrimination, gender racism and even gender hatred (see what Lady Hollis had to say about father’s above when she by accident forgets about covering up and speaks her real mind.)

Conclusion: Present Labour must be a “no vote” for father’s. To put it differently: Any father voting Labour a present is not having it together.

Conservatives: The conservatives are all in favor of coming down tough on nonresident parents not paying child support, but at the same time they are also concerned with creating an “equal level playing field” by also coming down tough on lone care parents frustrating contact and access. Further they are also really concerned with promoting postdivorce equal parenting and with promoting father’s involvement with their children also in relation to the child support reforms.

Conclusion: The conservatives are a “yes vote” for father’s.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lord Hunt of Kings Heath (Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State, Department for Work and Pensions):

This debater shows no concern whatsoever for promoting post divorce equal parenting involvement and only a very vague concern at adressing failing access and contact between fathers and their children in his opening statement. He doesn’t give much of a damn about father’s involvement with their children. There is nothing on these issues in his original policy statement.

And only when asked about it by the Baroness Morris of Bolton (Conservative), this is what he said and the lipservice he paid on the matter of contact, making clear that there is no connection with the child support reform policies: “ I very much agreed with the noble Baroness’s comments on the contact issue. She was right to refer to the Children and Adoption Bill and to the potential for ensuring that contact orders are both made and well enforced. I am sure she is right to say that we cannot link child support payments to contact, as such a dispute is between the two parents and the person who would suffer is the child who does not receive the flow of money. However, I think that contact is very important. The noble Baroness asked what kind of advice we would want to give parents to encourage them to try to resolve some of these issues themselves. We will be establishing a group across government to consider that, because clearly a holistic, integrated approach in dealing with all matters to do with separation would be very beneficial.”


Baroness Morris of Bolton (Conservative):

This debater shows concern for father’s involvement with their children and states on this issue as follows : “Noble Lords will know from our debates on the Children and Adoption Bill—I am looking at the noble Baroness, Lady Pitkeathley—that we on these Benches believe strongly in the presumption of co-parenting. A child has a right to reasonable contact with both parents if their relationship breaks down, and that provides emotional and financial stability. David Levy, president of the United States Children's Rights Council, says that the benefits of shared parenting were apparent not just in fewer costly disputes going to court but in increased child support payments. Consensus Bureau statistics showed that fathers with shared parenting rights paid twice the amount of fathers with no contact. I do not for one minute argue that payment should follow contact but it is clear that, in the best interests of the child, the state should do all it can to facilitate contact. Will this issue be part of the consultation?”



Lord Oakeshott of Seagrove Bay (Liberal Democrat):

We can be very short about this debater. This debater shows no concern whatsoever for promoting post divorce equal parenting involvement or at least adressing failing access and contact between fathers and their children. He doesn’t give a damn about father’s involvement with their children.


Baroness Hollis of Heigham (Labour):

Plays a mayor role in enabling the CSA reform. We can be short about this debater. This debater shows no concern whatsoever for promoting post divorce equal parenting involvement. She pretty much doesn’t a damn about father’s involvement with their children. On the issue of at least adressing failing access and contact between fathers and their children she is only very vague and making clear there is to be no connection made with the child support reform. This is the lipservice she paid to the issue and what she said on it: “I also welcome the emphasis on co-operation in the Henshaw report and in the Government’s report. Anything that reduces conflict, gets parents to come to an agreement and therefore encourages contact must be good for the child. Agreement, co-operation and additional resources to children are all good for their well-being, and we must welcome them.”


Baroness Noakes (Conservative; Sheila Masters)

This debater shows no concern whatsoever for promoting post divorce equal parenting involvement or at least adressing failing access and contact between fathers and their children.


Lord Kirkwood of Kirkhope (Liberal Democrat):

This debater shows no concern whatsoever for promoting post divorce equal parenting involvement or at least adressing failing access and contact between fathers and their children. He doesn’t give a damn about father’s involvement with their children.


Lord Forsyth of Drumlean (Conservative)

This debater shows concern for father’s involvement with their children and states on this issue as follows allthough slightly off-point : “ My Lords, I hope I am not alone in my concern about the point on disregard. How can it be right that a father who stays and supports his family will pay a higher effective marginal rate of tax than one who does not? That cannot be right and that cannot encourage families to stick together.”

Lord Stoddart of Swindon (Other)

This debater shows concern for the rights of the father’s involved, who are called NRP’s (Non Resident Parents) in he jargon of this debate. This is what he said: “What about the penalties which non-absent parents will apparently receive , for example, curfews, tagging and loss of passports? Those penalties seem worse than those that muggers and old-people bashers often get from our courts . I hope that has been considered.

My final question is on the compulsory registration of fathers . That will be extremely difficult, particularly in the case of unmarried single young mothers who perhaps have several relationships, who may not know who the father is, and who will not disclose the names of all the possible fathers. I hope that the Minister will think about that before he puts this into operation.”

Monday, July 31, 2006

Letter To Patients Announcing

parental alienation syndrome

E’ stato quote by Dr.. Gary Giordano, the specialist magazine "Psychomedia" (between the first eight psychiatric journals in the world for number of daily contacts) the article "The parental alienation syndrome," is signed by his colleagues Dr. Robert and Dr. Patrocchi. Dimitri Joseph, and the same dr. G. Giordano
The article is included in the scope family problems, separation and custody of children available at: Read the article online

Pdf Printer
In the text, is reported for the first time Grid Indicators Background Parental mobbing "(Dimitri - Jordan, 2006).

The Grid Indicators Background Parental mobbing "is an empirical tool for assessing the presence of a parental context divorzile mobbing a transaction, a context which implies a definite trend toward the presence of a form of PAS.

With the "Grid" in question have tried to give the operators a tool to indicate, with all the available estimates, given the empiricism of its genesis, the presence of a situation of parental bullying can evolve towards a PAS.

The hope that the "grid of context indicators Parental mobbing", so such as the Parental Harassment Inventory, will become a useful tool for those who deal professionally with parental mobbing, and that awareness of the seriousness of the contexts of parental mobbing becomes a tool in the constant practice of the working professional.

In case of citation, please return the source and authors

Enter your comment in the presentation of the Dott.G. Jordan

Until now it was thought the problem of marital separations and the relative discomfort of the child as a unique problem of families that are separated: thus ignoring what could be the effect of all the "macrosystem" which deals with separation marital problems on the same family is separated. Each year, 70,000 new children enter the tunnel and legal marital conflict: their sufferings and those of their parents are significantly increasing. From this point of view, just think for example the emergence of PAS, the Parental Alienation Syndrome - nosographic entity described by Gardner in 1985, or the increase of false accusations and violence to children to the fathers, often instrumental to the request the decline of parental authority, is produced by the impressive movements closer to madness by parents involved in bitter conflicts of the proceedings. All of these topics in Italy is only now beginning to be explored, but have elsewhere already large, sometimes - and obviously - instrumental and contradictory interests. For all cases, what a lawyer says about allegations of sexual abuse in the course of separation "is therefore disturbing the excessive ease with which in these cases we are convinced that abuse is not just because of abuse has begun to speak, especially when the allegation of abuse becomes a habit of unscrupulous lawyers, sometimes even turning into a real legal strategy "(Bernardini de Pace, 1997). In my view, therefore, incumbent on all the tremendous risk of the normalization of a "culture of conflict, and deception" emotional needs, from which nobody can take longer distances because everyone there is a part. This space will be reserved Psychomedia these issues, taking into account all the possible multi-disciplinary interactions: so will not only articles of specialists, however, particularly with regard to what is now Italy has not the attention it deserves, but also publishing news and insights about important events and meaningful interventions and providing multi-disciplinary professionals compared to the "psi". Gaetano Giordano

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Underwear Under Singlet

No age limit for child support.

(Supreme 22500/04)

even when they have an age closer to 40 years to 30. The verdict set aside the decision which the Court of Appeal ruled that an estranged father, was no longer pay the monthly allowance for the maintenance of two daughters, now 34 and 36 years old and had lived with his ex-wife without achieving economic independence.

He believed his daughters "guilty" of not having yet found a job or refusing certain opportunities. The courts of appeal, given the age of the girls had given him reason, excluding that should continue to pay their monthly allowance.

In the opinion of the Court of Appeal, in fact, there is "a limit that must be put on the basis of age, to have the right to maintenance: beyond this limit, the maintenance becomes parasitism.

The Supreme Court is not, however, was of the same opinion and allowed the appeal by ex-wife. In regard to the Supreme Court stated that "the obligation to keep the children does not automatically cease with the coming of age, or beyond a certain limit it, but continues until the moment when the children reach their own economic independence or are guilty for not having put in a position to achieve a qualification or to obtain an income, with a suitable work, or to have unjustifiably refused that activity ".

Monday, July 24, 2006

Roller Coaster Tycoon Runtime Error

A spouse who has the house pays the condo but not the abuses Ici

(Supreme 03/10/2005 18476/05)

The spouse who is awarded the family home after separation, has the responsibility to pay the costs of building, while the ICI remains with the owner of the spouse.

as laid down by the First Civil Chamber of the Supreme Court with the ruling 18476, dismissing the appeal brought by Elena M. against the decision of the Appeal Court of Appeal in Rome.

In this case, the former husband of the woman, Francis B., had asked the woman to return the money advanced by him to pay the costs of building and heating, the ICI and the fee for disposal of the house, which initially had been assigned, but which had continued to have even after the court had decided in the opposite direction, giving it to the man, who was the owner.

While the court of first instance had granted the request of Francis B., condemning Elena M. to pay all the expenses, the Court of Appeal had indeed part the decision with regard to the ICI, tax imposed on property owners, and not on who has the sole enjoyment.

As the judges wrote in the ruling,''in terms of separation, the allocation of the matrimonial home, release the grantee spouse exclusively by the fees paid for use of the dwelling, but does not include costs related to ' use, are therefore dependent on him.'' If there is no explicit provision of the court in allocating these expenses to the spouse obligated to pay the rent, maintenance of wife or children, must be understood therefore, conclude stoats,''that the lack of such a measure, implying the assumption of the costs to the person assigned the same 'home.''

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

How To Insure Dune Buggy Ontario

Monitoring

Following the last serious piece of news which concerned the little Alice Rossetti brutally killed by her mother's partner of two fresh

observers monitoring:
  • abuse complaints for minor children
  • complaints 388 for violation of Penal Code (violation of the right of visit)
are all called to send the elements of any inesitate complaints lodged with the judicial police and / or powers of attorney (accompanied by the date of presentation as well as' brief description of the facts of the case) that relate to those forms of crime.

Please enter the following information:
- dell'esposto date and brief description of the facts in an anonymous (Forum)
- a copy of the measures taken by the magistrates seized (attach jpg file) by email or mail
- the subject of Appeal (attach jpg file) by email or mail collection

Forum display:
Send email electronic copy (jpg) measures:
Leave the paperwork: Who If you are unable to send the file you can 'send the paperwork at the registered office of the National in Via Francesco Blundo, 54-80128. Naples

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Snowmobile Salvage Yards Canada

The case of Ruben Bianchi

 The child Ruben Bianchi (born 11/28/1999), son of a Swiss mother (also with Italian citizenship) Lucille Hunkeler and Italian father Stefano Bianchi, two years is hidden by the woman in Switzerland or in nearby areas. Little has been entrusted exclusively to the father and finally by the Italian Court of separation (Court of Pistoia), even after a psychological-psychiatric expert opinion on the child and parents. How

extreme form of protection for the child, the Juvenile Court of Florence has also deprived the mother of parental authority over a child. By the public prosecutor of Pistoia (Italy) for about a year has been issued an international arrest warrant for kidnapping against women. The same has already been irrevocably sentenced to one year in prison without parole for child abduction by the Court of Pescia (PT). In Switzerland
accumulated SEVEN court rulings that sanction the return of Ruben in Italy and return to his father, the last of them by the Federal Court a few weeks ago (04/12/2006). The Federal Court has twice (on 23.04.2003 and 15.10.2004) had issued the same ruling. Moreover, since September 2004 has been issued an international arrest warrant for the woman for kidnapping (Judiciary Willisau). All these bad decisions of a small but not negligible: the execution. The Swiss Police assists inert to this state of anarchy. Two years ago a woman hiding in the civilized and super subsidiary in Switzerland and surrounding areas a small child, although they were still in constant contact with lawyers, friends and supporters. Surely this is supported in its legal action against a well-organized group of people who apparently acting on behalf of discrimination. Even on March 19 last, the mother of Ruben gave an interview to a newspaper in Zurich (SonntagsBlick) explaining the "reasons" that led her into hiding. There is also a website that supports Switzerland in his madness. E 'was clearly stated that she will still hidden Ruben ten years, if necessary.

The European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg is researching the story behind his father's instance of the child. On October 4, 2005 issued the original ruling is upheld when the proceedings and sees what is happening with a serious injury by Switzerland of the rights of Reuben and his father Stefano Bianchi.

Dall 'in August 2004 a child under six years is forced to a life of hiding and no relation to his father, the custodial parent. The same father no longer knows if her son is alive or dead and that living conditions. The same thing would happen if the father was Italian rather than the Swiss parent to engage in this insane violence on his son? How much longer will be allowed this aberrant state of imprisonment for a child?

Stefano Bianchi in August 2004 held a protest demonstration in front of the 'Swiss Embassy in Rome, chained and  doing a hunger strike that lasted 12 days, when he was forced to stay in hospital. He never stopped looking for her son and raise awareness of the institutions, Swiss and Italian, to end this shame is accomplished against the mental and physical health of his son. He has participated in many television programs and also expressed in Lucerne: for now, everything was useless.

On the site of the police in Lucerne are the data and photos (in German) that may be useful to trace him or his mother.

Site police Lucerne

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Inurl Multicameraframe?mode=

Paternity Establishment '

THE MOTHER IS NOT NECESSARILY REQUIRED TO PARTICIPATE IN THE JUDGEMENT OF PATERNITY TESTING OF 'NATURAL

(First Civil Chamber, Supreme No 12187 of 1 December 1997).

Article. 276 cc, the capacity to be sued in the action of judicial declaration of paternity or maternity is solely for the alleged natural parent or his heirs, subject to the act of "contradiction" for anyone interested. I1

natural parent-child relationship that is structured separately in relation to each of the natural parents individually, without providing for the joinder need the other parent and, in particular, the mother, in action for biological fatherhood.

's mother, except as required contradictor, has only the power to intervene, as anyone with an interest, pursuant to art. 276 para. cod. Civ. (Cass. 5340/89, 3143/94).

This is because the judicial declaration of paternity ago was only against the natural father, while the identity of the mother is placed in the context of that opinion as a finding of fact and may therefore be made even indirectly .

In proceedings of biological fatherhood, the "status" of a child is found only parent-child relations, but not in mother-child relationship, although the identity of the mother, if known, must necessarily be the subject of investigation: finding, however, only in fact, not state, and then be done even on a incidental (First Civil Chamber, Supreme Court No 12187 of 1 December 1997).

Last Updated (Saturday, July 15, 2006)

Monday, July 10, 2006

Healing From A Chip Shoulder Bone

The Supreme Court conviction for molesting father

Carabiniere con citofono An estranged father, who wanted to see her baby,''guilty of causing disorder in public places.'' Also lives in the apartment the woman's new companion.

Cassation: stick to 'the bell of the former wife harassment.

Rome, May 13 - Hard times for separated fathers. A new ruling by the Supreme Court in fact has sentenced a father for the crime of harassment, because man, just to see her son, had been attacked repeatedly over the intercom of the house of his ex-wife''playing on a continuous basis.'' And for this reason, the judges of Piazza Cavour condemned him under Article 660 of the Criminal Code.

The facts date back to February of 2003 and address a separate set of Florence. Vincent T., 48 years had been at the apartment of his ex-wife Daniela L., where the woman lives with her new companion to''take and take with him the day his son Luke.'' Faced, however, the refusal of the woman,''Vincent had pressed the bell continuously for about five to ten minutes''without obtaining the desired result. And so did the next day, so that the woman had first sought the intervention of the police and then he had denounced. In February two years after the first ruling by the Court Single Judge Florence man who was acquitted of the crime of harassment''because the fact (stick to the intercom, ed) is not required by law as a crime.''

course with his ex-wife's new companion ill have digested the decision of the Court of Florence and have appealed to the Supreme Court, seeking an order for harassing her former husband. Appeal upheld the First Criminal Chamber, noting that the offense punishes harassment''there is much in the place where the agent is in a public place or place open to the public and the taxpayer in a private place, the assumption where the harassment is caused by a private place against anyone who is in a public place or place open to the public.'' No mitigating

was granted to the father than the reason that prompted him to 'stick' the bell, that is the will to take the child. The Supreme Court ruling with 15,026, showed in fact that the act done with conscience''and will''had a single purpose:''to cause disturbance in a public place''means''the use of the telephone, means of communication similar to the phone.''

Therefore, based on this principle, the Supreme Court annulled the acquittal granted to the estranged father, is now providing that the Court of Appeal of Florence ripronunciarsi offense of harassment''conforming to the principle of law stated.''

Friday, July 7, 2006

Where To Buy Old Blue Prints

DEATH OF ALICE = Announced tragedy

DEATH OF ALICE = tragedy waiting to happen

PRESS FIGLINEGATI

With horror and dismay, we learn from the newspapers today the details of the death of little Alice beaten up by the partner of his ex-wife.

As in a film already seen thousands of times, the mother hides the child to the father in the complete indifference of the institutions.

The complaints of the father, such as aspirin against cancer, unnecessary.

SHAME ... We are a country of Pontius Pilate washing his hands in front of the kidnapping impunity of children by one parent after separation.

If there was a strict law and immediate reprimesse these abuses by parental kidnapping thousands of tragedies would be avoided.

In Italy, people continue to die of separation for the children fought.

Al Papa, Massimo Rossetti, we express our solidarity.
to this pope, who has fought in vain, against everything and everyone, to continue to make the father of her daughter, should be an apology and compensation of a state fugitive and indifferent, solely responsible for the role of "class" assigned to the father after separation.

We ask the competent authorities to ensure all responsibilities, direct and indirect, of his ex-wife and all those who do not have prevented this tragedy foretold.

We call upon all means of nformation to continue to work on this issue of the children denied that exploded more than ever in these days of summer vacation.

with deep sorrow that we ask for the publication of this release.

Rome July 7, 2006

Dr. President Giorgio Ceccarelli
ass. Denied Sons of the Fathers

Founder Army (peace movement for the rights of children of separated parents)

www.figlinegati.it
Cell 339-2753088

The Messenger of Thursday 06/07/2006

The Messenger of Friday 07/07/2006

----------- ------------------------------------

Friday, July 7, 2006

heard Attorney along with the mother of the girl five years died at Banner.
The woman: "It was strange, we had brought from a holy man"
"They beat the living daylights, must pay"

Alice's dad speaks:

"I do not they made it show up for two months, at least let me do his funeral

VALENTINA ERRANTE and Paul wants to / / THE MESSENGER

The tears and tantrums of Alice were not the same as those of all children the world.
for the mother and the man who was 5 years old daughter called dad, Alice was a kind of demonic.
Viviana Di Laura said that too.
questioned for an hour yesterday by prosecutor Catherine Caputo said he was "being subdued by fellow psychologically and have no fear to save Alice."
He added, "Mauro Bronchi had convinced me that evil was a hold of my daughter. We
extent also by a holy man, once, we wanted to exorcise and heal, but Alice continued to cry forever. "

Alice was killed by superstition.

And while the new mother and father took her by the holy man, Massimo Rossetti, the father of Alice, had exposed, because he could no longer see his daughter.

now lacks the strength to speak.

"I have beat the living daylights and now have to pay."

Massimo Rossetti, not resigned to the idea that her child has died from the beating of the mother's partner. It comes in
Prosecutor to seek justice, crying in front of the deputy prosecutor Italo Ormanni. Why
that something was not right Rossetti had understood.
It had also submitted a petition asking the court to intervene to allow him to meet his little girl.
Mauro Bronchi, the companion of Alice's mother is in prison for murder.
Rossetti, 40, accompanied to the square Clodius Advocate Pomponi Alessandro Tomei, speaking through the attorney.

What had happened in recent months?

"I could not see Alice or talking on the phone.
Not since I met my ex-girlfriend lived with that man.
why I had lodged a complaint.
I discussed this situation with a friend who works in the police.
I was worried about her.
And June 13 was he who advised me to call 113. "

What happened?

"A wheel came off Magnano in Riviera.
The cops knocked on the door. Viviana
glimpsed only with a black eye.
He was told that Alice was asleep.
I waited on the street. "

And what did he do then?

"On 20 June I went by the police. But in the barracks
Avenue Asia advised me to reflect and not to file the complaint, I risked a controdenuncia for defamation.
The day after I filed a complaint to prosecutors.
I expressed my concern for some time tried in vain to see her daughter.
The behavior of my ex-girlfriend had changed.
was gone, did not even know where she lived.
request assistance to meet the child. "

Before he had a good relationship with his ex-girlfriend?

'The report was started in 2000 and over the next year. Until
Viviana Bronchi did not start attending, about two months ago, there were problems. Then
misunderstandings have arisen, even though I continued to have good relations with the parents of Vivian. Even
them from the beginning of the report, were unable to have contact with Alice.
This situation has given rise to suspicion.
A sort of sixth sense. "

But I really do not also failed to organize the child's funeral?

"Yesterday morning I went to the Twins to ask for clearance.
But mockery of a mockery, they said that had already been granted. And the funeral
already organized by the folks at Borgata Finocchio that is taxed to pay their last farewell to Alice.
I did not have showed up for two months, they could at least let me hold his funeral. "

And now?

"I beg for justice.
An autopsy determined that the marks on the little body was not all that bloody Sunday.
I think that horror could be avoided. Me
they beat the living daylights.
must pay. "

Today is expected to say goodbye "blond angel is gone," as he calls the lawyer Pomponi Tomei.

---------------------------------------------- -

"Died from asphyxiation due to strangulation or suffocation"

Monday night, Alice, 5 years, reaching the number of dead Sant'Andrea Hospital, has bruises all over his body, his death is accused Mauro Bronchi, 39 years, the partner of mdre.

beginning Mauro denies any responsibility, but the girl's mother, Viviana Di Laura, accuses him.

the police said that the company Cassia man because he beat Alice cried, "is a violent," he says, "has always beat me."

Mauro Bronchi was arrested on charges of murder, the autopsy revealed that she died "for violent mechanical asphyxia," and also reveals that the body of the little there are signs of abuse dating back to the previous days.

The autopsy has not yet determined if she was strangled or suffocated.

chest physicians have observed a flattening due to pressure, the assumption is that the child was held in place by an adult who has pressed his knee on his chest or you are lying on.

And there is one last question that the autopsy will dissolve, if the child has suffered sexual abuse.

Bruno Ronchi is the first admission: "The child was crying, was falling from my arms and to stop grabbing me by the neck."

=========================================== ==================

"Rome," They beat the living daylights, must pay "Talk to the father of Alice"
FREE - National Edition - Friday, July 14, 2006

thank the Editorial Board Available for accepting the message of solidarity of PapàSeparatiLombardia, Dad turned to Massimo Rossetti, which we intend to put all our attention and our possible support for the absurd story happened.
Read the page for the Free
14:07:06 We are an active part in what happened to Alice, because the carelessness and callousness of the institutions, could tap tomorrow for our children. THAT WE MUST NOT AND DO NOT WANT TO ALLOW NO MORE '!

Association into the heart of all its members the despair and the bitterness of what happened to little Alice. In cases of adoption, before any adult can get their hands on a minor procedures require several years to discover the terms psychological aptitude of applicants.
In cases of separation the children involved, are deprived of any protection, and anyone who decides to live with the custodial parent / collocatario, can get their hands on our children within a very short time. So it happened to the little girl in Rome who paid with their lives together with that of Dad. We would like this INSESIBILITà BE PAID BY SOMEONE ELSE !!!!!!!
We demand that our children have left the carelessness with which many foster parents / collocatari, involving harmful to minors in their psycho-physical state.


CAPITAL RADIO - 06:07:06

GIRL DEAD IN ROME: NEAR HOME PAY FUNERAL COSTS

will the neighbors and residents of the township Fennel to cover the costs for the funeral, provided tomorrow, Alice, the little girl 5 years old died in hospital of St. Andrew in Rome the night between Sunday and Monday. The prosecutor gave the green light but still carry on the activities' inquiry examining carefully the statements of Viviana Di Laura, mother of the victim. The woman, in fact, 'has again been heard for over two hours by prosecutor Catherine Caputo who called the meeting as a person informed of the facts. Di and Laura ' made accompanying proxy in the Advocate Honored Rossano. A courthouse and it 'also presented the natural father of the child, Massimo Rossetti who, through their attorney, the lawyer Alessandra Tomei Pomponi, has been able to meet the deputy prosecutor Italo Ormanni. Rossetti has learned of the death of Alice (attributed to Mauro Bronchi, partner of Laura's in prison for murder) by his aunt. He reminded the judge that in the last three months, after being separated from Vivian, no longer has' got to see her daughter. Complaints and allegations have not had any effect. Since Vivian and the partner had gone to live in the township Fennel had become impossible for him to maintain contact with the girl. The woman, for the judiciary, continues to be the main prosecution witness. Honored for the lawyer, Vivian was not really able to oppose the violent ways of bronchitis.

by http://www.capital.it/capital/notizie/ultimora/1626958

Association: This man has tried in every way, respecting the law to protect his daughter. But every attempt has not had any effect. The culture that a child is good at any rate in the hands of the mother, is the culture that has now caused this accident. Someone could do something, but nothing has been done


The Messenger of Friday 07/07/2006

heard prosecutor with the mother of the child 5 years old died at Banner. The woman: "It was strange, we had brought from a holy man"
"They beat the living daylights, must pay" Alice's dad speaks:
"I do not see they made it for two months, at least let me do His funeral

VALENTINA of wandering and Paul wants - the messenger

The tears and tantrums of Alice were not the same as those of all children in the world. For the mother and the man who was 5 years old daughter called dad, Alice was a kind of demonic. Viviana Di Laura said that too. Questioned by prosecutor Catherine Caputo for an hour yesterday said "to be subdued by fellow psychologically and have no fear to save Alice." He added, "Mauro Bronchi had convinced me that evil was a hold of my daughter. We took also a holy man, once, we wanted to exorcise and heal, but Alice continued to cry forever. "

Alice was killed by superstition.

And while the new mother and father took her by the holy man, Massimo Rossetti, the father of Alice, had exposed, because he could no longer see his daughter.

now lacks the strength to speak.

"I have beat the living daylights and now have to pay."
Massimo Rossetti, not resigned to the idea that her child has died from the beating of the mother's partner. It is presented in the prosecution to ask for justice, crying in front of the deputy prosecutor Italo Ormanni. Why
that something was not right Rossetti had understood.
It had also submitted a petition asking the court to intervene to allow him to meet his little girl.
Mauro Bronchi, the companion of Alice's mother is in prison for murder.
Rossetti, 40, accompanied to the square Clodius Advocate Pomponi Alessandro Tomei, speaking through the attorney.

What had happened in recent months?
"I could not see Alice or talking on the phone. Not since I met my ex-girlfriend lived with that man.
why I had lodged a complaint. I discussed this situation with a friend who works in the police. I was worried about her.
And June 13 was he who advised me to call 113. "

What happened?
"A wheel came off Magnano in Riviera. The cops knocked on the door. Viviana glimpsed only with a black eye. The Alice was told that he was asleep. I waited in the street. "

And what did he do then?
'On 20 June I went to the police. But the barracks in Asia avenue advised me to reflect and not to file the complaint, I risked a controdenuncia for defamation.
The day after I filed a complaint to prosecutors. I expressed my concern for some time tried in vain to see her daughter.
The behavior of my ex-girlfriend had changed. Had disappeared, did not even know where she lived. Request assistance to meet the child. "

Before he had a good relationship with his ex-girlfriend?
'The report was initiated in 2000 and over the next year. Viviana not until he began to attend Bronchi, about two months ago, there was no problem. Then arose the misunderstanding, though I continued to have good relations with the parents of Vivian. Even them, the beginning of that relationship, managed to have contact with Alice. A situation that created suspicion. A sort of sixth sense. "

But I really do not also failed to organize the child's funeral?
"Yesterday morning I went to the Twins to ask for clearance. But mockery of a mockery, they said that had already been granted. And the funeral already organized by the folks at Borgata Finocchio that has taxed to pay their last farewell to Alice. I did not have showed up for two months, they could at least let me hold his funeral. "

And now?
"I beg for justice. An autopsy determined that the marks on the little body was not all that bloody Sunday. I think that horror could be avoided. I have beat the living daylights.
must pay. "

Today is expected to say goodbye "blond angel is gone," as he calls the lawyer Pomponi Tomei.


Corriere della Sera - 06/07/2006

So she died little Alice: the chilling tale of Bronchi:

"possessed, I got it by the neck"
An autopsy on the girl speaks of asphyxiation by suffocation or strangulation: the mother is still witness

ROME - Mauro Bronchi, 39 year old man accused of killing with his hands, little Alice, 5, daughter of his partner, remains in prison. The investigating magistrate Luciano Pugliese has validated the arrest yesterday after the interrogation of guarantee, which was held in Regina Coeli. In prison, where he was heard from 11.30 to 14, Bronchi reacted with many "I do not remember." For 'unrest' in which, he said, was in the grip of the baby that night has come to call into question even the devil. In the midst of a lot of babble, so he tried to explain that Sunday evening nell'appartamentino of Banner. "The little girl was possessed by the devil as he wept and did not want to sleep, the mother was trapped between the arms and perhaps that caused the bruises may have them, I Did I pulled away from the arms grabbing her neck ..." . And that big dark bruises on her neck that the child had procured Who told you? "I do not know, I do not remember ... '. And the other bruises, some old, due to previous beatings? I do not remember, was a very lively little girl and dropped a lot. " And the allegations of domestic partner, who depicts him as a violent, always ready to use your hands? I do not remember, do not understand, I do not know ...». His lawyer, Luigi Parenti, speaks of it as a very polished and worn out. "Perhaps it is not even good account ...».

The legal framework provided by the doctors of the Gemini, who have completed the autopsy yesterday morning shortly after 9 am, however, leaves no way out. Little Alice died of asphyxiation. Mechanical asphyxia, caused by something that prevented her from breathing. For medical examiners in the case of asphyxia by suffocation or from strangulation, as might be inferred from a large bruises found on the neck of the child. The bruises, old and new, speak of a long and continued abuse. In addition to the crushing of the chest, which was found during the autopsy, medical examiners with the help of the TAC have made a full screening of these many "signs" remains on the little body. Bruises that are dated from mid-June in here, some linked to last week of life, as in other dating back more than twenty days before, all likely to abuse and beatings, long lasting. The CAT scan has revealed in many parts of the body, especially on the chest and arms (they are exempt only the back and legs). Some even included bruising on the cheeks, on the face of the beautiful Alice, blonde and curly. Is it possible that nobody Banner the ever notice? Not that Sunday evening when the child was brought by the partner and mother to the Unity Day? And how did her mother, who has long sought to defend the partner even in the hours following the death of his daughter, is considered by the prosecutor just a victim?


Lavinia Brogi Paolo Di Gianvito

Association says: The practice for adoption are to verify the integrity of the couple's mental applicant and no verification is done sull'estraneo , the household, imposed by the parent collocatario the children of separated couples. Many fathers complain of discomfort in the state courts of their children with the person external to the household, but these reports are always set aside with the excuse that every parent should make a new life (the Milan Court reiterated this concept to the 05:07:06 our partner), in this case even at the expense of the death of a child.


News Corriere della Sera - 04/07/2006

accuses the unmarried mother, who was arrested on charges of murder. The body of the girl there were numerous bruises

ROME - They found a table at home, full of bruises. Transported to a nearby hospital Sant'Andrea came to the emergency room in a desperate condition and died shortly after. The victim is a child of five years, died of cardio-circulatory arrest. A mother called the ambulance and his partner, who at first had said that the baby had fallen from the couch. Then the woman accused the man, who is the father of the child, he had beaten the little until they lose consciousness. The woman also told investigators they in turn fell victim to his partner that he repeatedly beat her, too.

ARRESTED THE LIVES - Mauro Bronchi, 38, was later arrested and charged with murder. The detention was ordered after an examination prepared by the prosecutor Catherine Caputo. The man, who is unemployed, previously worked as an insurer.

bruising OLD AND NEW - Little was already in cardiac arrest when the health of the 118 have picked up and taken to hospital. Intubated and subjected to various treatments, intensive care, has failed to overcome the crisis. On his body, hospital sources said Roman health, numerous bruises, some fresh, some standing, presumably a sign of different and repeated beatings. It is not yet known if the bruises can be linked or not the cause of death. Will be an autopsy to determine that will be prepared within 24 hours. It would also tied before being struck violently, perhaps with a blunt object. This is the result from the examination performed outside the body. In particular, the arms of the child would have been noticed signs from which we deduce that it was bound. It is not excluded that there are also fractures. You will still be an autopsy, scheduled for Tuesday morning, to shed light on the death of the baby.

RECONSTRUCTION - was actually the Romans two thirtysomethings, unemployed, during the night to call 118. The couple initially told the police that the girl had fallen at home. A story full of contradictions, their. For this were subjected to questioning by the prosecutor Catherine Caputo of Rome prosecutors. Until the accusations made by his mother against his partner. The prosecutor investigating now to murder.

Association says: parenthood is subtracted to the father, for cultural custom, without investigating sull'estraneo that the de facto parenthood has on our children. Proponents of this culture, before cases like the one above, remain unpunished.

We do not recognize ITALIAN STATE THE RIGHT TO TELL WHAT WHERE TO STAY WITH OUR CHILDREN, SO AS NOT RECOGNIZED THE RIGHT OF THE STATE OF PERMIT, too high, the permanence of our CHILDREN WHO ARE NOT WITH THEIR household